- anti-steele your heart away --
act four -- conclusion
Date: Wednesday, March 14, 2001
- Susan Deborah Smith <susannah2k@netscape.net>
okay to archive
REMINGTON STEELE
"ANTI-STEELE YOUR HEART AWAY"
a teleplay by Susan Deborah Smith
(with respectful apologies to and much admiration for Brian
Clemens)
ACT FOUR
FADE IN
EXT. RACETRACK - DAY
Tony borrows a pair of binoculars from an obliging racing fan.
He scans the upper levels of the grandstand.
BINOCULAR VIEW
Of John and Poppy talking together. Fawn and Oliver flank them.
TONY'S VOICE: Hey, hey. Look at this!
ON LAURA
As she takes the binoculars.
TONY: Recognize anybody?
LAURA: One of our NYPD imposters.
TONY: You got it. And look who's with him.
We can see Laura's amazement even with the binoculars against
her eyes. She lowers them slowly.
LAURA: That's the -
TONY (excited; interrupting): The former head of the CIA!
LAURA: Among other things. Coincidence?
BINOCULAR VIEW
Poppy claps John on the back and exits, trailed by Fawn and Oliver.
EXT. TRACK ENTRANCE - DAY
Tony and Laura dash through the gate and scan the valet parking
area.
TONY AND LAURA'S POV
The government limo idles at a short distance - men in black
escort Poppy to the car. Motorcycle cops pull on their gloves.
ON TONY
An idea strikes him and he grabs Laura's arm.
TONY: Come on!
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Laura stands beside a red sports car, which suddenly ROARS into
life. The engine settles down to a strong PURR.
LAURA: This is stealing!
Tony puts down the hood and opens the passenger side for her.
TONY (as Laura gets in): I'll bring it right back.
Tony jumps into the car and puts it in gear.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
The government limousine and its entourage speeds along - pursued,
some way back, by the red sports car.
INT. SPORTS CAR - DAY
Tony is having a great time behind the wheel - HUMMING the James
Bond theme - while Laura, brows furrowed, keeps an eye on the
road.
TONY: Oh, man. This is the life.
LAURA: We're losing them.
Tony shifts to top gear.
INT. GRAND HOUSE - DAY
Poppy, Fawn, Oliver and Posy are greeted by a well-dressed, middle-aged
lady, the housekeeper.
HOUSEKEEPER: Welcome, sir. (checks her watch) Didn't you stay
for the big race?
POPPY: Star of the show wasn't running. Double-Oh-Seven was scratched.
HOUSEKEEPER: Oh, no! Nothing serious, I hope?
Fawn, Oliver and Posy exchange looks.
EXT. LONG DRIVEWAY - DAY
The sports car rolls along.
INT. SPORTS CAR - DAY
Tony and Laura squint through the windshield.
TONY (points): There's the car.
EXT. GRAND HOUSE - DAY
THEIR TRAVELING EYELINE AHEAD TO: The grand house just appearing.
The government limousine and motorcycles are parked in front.
INT. SPORTS CAR - DAY
TONY: Maybe there's a stable around the back.
LAURA: We can't just go up to the door and knock.
Then her eyes light up.
LAURA (cont'd): Turn around!
EXT. SPORTS CAR - DAY
The car slowly brakes, then backs up. We can SEE Tony, twisted
around in the front seat, watching the driveway as he guides
the car back along it.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
The sports car swings backward across the road and settles into
the right lane. It backs up a few more yards, beyond a sign posted
at the side of the road.
EXT. ROAD - ROADSIGN - DAY
Posted in the grass along the road is a large, beautifully lettered
sign reading "LITTLE BAY RIDING STABLE - LESSONS, BOARDING,
TRAINING, TRAIL RIDES - ENTRANCE ON LEFT - _ MILE"
INT. SPORTS CAR - DAY
Tony and Laura exchange looks. Tony puts the car in gear.
EXT. STABLE YARD - LONG - DAY
A large complex at the end of a long, tree-lined driveway. Several
barns stand off to the side. Beside the driveway are large arenas
in which there is some activity: Riders putting horses through
their paces. Elsewhere, people are walking horses, dogs are running
around.
Virtually all of this activity is AWAY from the barns.
The sports car slides into view.
EXT. STABLE YARD - DAY
ANOTHER ANGLE
Laura and Tony creep across the stableyard to the stable block
- and gently enter:
INT. BARN - DAY
Where they pause to survey the place. At the near end is a tack
room, through the open door of which we can SEE bridles, saddles,
and other gear. Then, marching along toward the far end is a
row of stalls, each with a solid bottom half-door topped by a
barred upper half.
Laura and Tony move along the line of stalls - they are all empty
- until they reach the last one - and here stands the horse Double-Oh-Seven.
Tony presses the spring bolt that latches the upper part of the
half-door and swings it open. Double-Oh-Seven ambles forward
and puts his head out over the door.
They regard the beautiful creature - Laura puts up her hand to
stroke the narrow blaze running down its face.
LAURA: It's him all right.
Tony ventures a pat.
TONY: Secret agent Double-Oh-Seven. Well, I'm secret agent Tony
Roselli. Nice to meet ya.
LAURA: Good boy. Now all we have to do is -
Tony glances off, reacts.
TONY (interjecting): Laura!
She turns and looks to where - through a window or an open door
- we can see Oliver and Posy approaching across the yard.
TONY: Leave this to me.
He grabs a shovel and gets up on a bale of hay.
LAURA: Aren't you CIA guys martial arts experts?
TONY: Let's make this easy.
Laura grabs up some other tool - a rake or something - and takes
up her post on the other side of the door. As Oliver and Posy
enter, Laura and Tony are poised to clonk them on the head when:
EXT. GRAND HOUSE - DAY
Fawn comes down the steps and crosses to the limousine. Poppy
follows. The DRIVER opens the door to the back seat.
POPPY: I just want to have another look at the big fella before
the boys sneak him back.
INT. BARN - DAY
Tony gazes down at the unconscious, recently bopped Oliver and
Posy as Laura moves to peer off through a window.
LAURA'S POV
Across a little ravine and through some trees we can see the
grand house and the limousine rolling up the driveway.
INT. BARN - DAY
Laura turns back to Tony.
LAURA: There'll be others.
She thoughtfully regards the horse.
LAURA (cont'd): We have to get him away.
TONY: How are we going to do that? Hitch up a trailer to that
Porsche?
Laura hesitates. Her gaze travels around the barn and alights
on the tack room.
TONY: Oh, no. Whoa. Laura -
Over this, Laura dashes to the tack room and returns with a bridle.
She unlatches the bottom half of the door to the stall and enters.
As she holds the bridle up to Double-Oh-Seven, the horse politely
accepts the bit and lowers his head so Laura can get the headstall
over his ears.
Tony watches, increasingly alarmed, as Laura tightens the noseband
and throatlatch and tosses the reins over Double-Oh-Seven's head.
As she leads the horse out of the stall:
LAURA: Give me a leg up.
TONY: A what?
LAURA (impatient): A leg up.
Eyeing Double-Oh-Seven suspiciously, Tony bends and forms a stirrup
with his hands. Laura steps into it and swings herself lightly
onto the horse's back. She gathers the reins and holds a hand
out to Tony.
TONY: You've got to be kidding.
LAURA: Come on.
TONY: No way, boss. It's not in my job description.
LAURA: You can't remember your job description.
TONY: Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure it doesn't involve anything
like this. Where I come from, we don't ride æem - we just
bet on æem.
We HEAR an ENGINE as a car - a big car - pulls up outside. Tony
reacts - drags a box over and climbs awkwardly up behind Laura.
LAURA: All set?
Tony puts his arms around her waist and snuggles closer.
TONY: Oh, yeah.
Laura tugs on the reins and Double-Oh-Seven turns and moves forward.
LAURA: Duck!
And all three go out the door into the sunlight.
EXT. STABLE YARD - DAY
The government limousine is parked at the end of the driveway
near a couple of police motorcycles. The driver gets out and
opens the back door.
INT. GOVERNMENT LIMOUSINE - DAY
As the door opens and Poppy starts to get out:
POPPY: It was worth all this trouble just to see the look on
ol' John-boy's face! Did you see that vein thing pop when I mentioned
the glue factory?
Poppy chuckles but stops abruptly as he sees:
POPPY'S POV
Double-Oh-Seven, with Laura and Tony aboard, trots out from beside
the barn.
EXT. STABLE YARD - DAY
ON POPPY
He was giving a smile of recognition - then his look transforms
to one of shock as he realizes that the horse is making a getaway.
POPPY (bellows): Oliver! Posy!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Oliver and Posy stagger out from beside the barn.
POPPY: After them! Move it!
Posy and Oliver stagger more quickly toward the motorcycles.
Poppy gets back into the limo.
EXT. BRIDLE PATH - DAY
Double-Oh-Seven trots along. Laura rides comfortably - but Tony
is being bounced and jostled like popcorn in a popper.
Tony HEARS something and risks turning to look.
TONY: We're being tailed.
Laura glances back - and sets her heels to Double-Oh-Seven -
who springs forward into a gallop.
ANOTHER ANGLE
The limousine lumbers along as the two motorcycles kick into
gear and pass it, moving quickly in pursuit.
ON DOUBLE-OH-SEVEN
He gallops along easily - the smooth gait is a lot better for
Tony, who holds onto Laura and rests his chin on her shoulder.
EXT. MEADOW - DAY
A white three-rail fence in NEAR F.G. divides the riding stable
property from the meadow. The bridle path continues into the
meadow, but the gate is shut.
Double-Oh-Seven gallops TOWARD CAMERA. In the FAR B.G., we see
the motorcycles.
ON TONY
Realizing:
TONY: Oh, no!
LAURA: Hang on!
REVERSE ANGLE
As Double-Oh-Seven approaches the fence, he gathers himself to
jump. The horse rears up - and Tony slides off the back!
EXT. MEADOW
The horse in mid-leap, arcing over the gate. Double-Oh-Seven
and Laura land safely on the other side.
ON LAURA
Pulling the horse up and looking around for Tony.
TONY
lies in the dirt for a moment. We HEAR a faint BUZZING. Tony
seems dazed - then puzzled - then light dawns.
The BUZZING grows louder, turns into the SOUND of motorcycles.
LAURA'S VOICE: Tony? Tony!
Tony blinks hard and scrambles to his feet.
EXT. MEADOW - DAY
Tony climbs up on the fence. Laura guides the horse closer. Tony
throws out his leg and jumps onto the back of Double-Oh-Seven.
As they gallop away, the motorcycles roar up and, veering off,
screech to a halt. The government limousine keeps coming and
crashes right through the gate! Sticks and splinters fly.
The motorcycles pass through the opening made by the car.
ON DOUBLE-OH-SEVEN
In full stride, Tony and Laura bending over his neck.
TONY: We're making pretty good time, here. Next race I'm betting
this one for sure!
INT. GOVERNMENT LIMOUSINE - DAY
Poppy leans forward to exhort the driver.
POPPY: Can't this thing go any faster?
POPPY'S POV
THROUGH WINDSHIELD the motorcycles ahead. Oliver is reaching
toward his holster.
POPPY'S VOICE (yells): No guns, you idiot!
EXT. MEADOW - DAY
Oliver has his gun out. We hear the limousine's HORN HONKING.
Oliver slows his motorcycle and looks around.
ANGLE ON POPPY
Leaning out the window of the limousine.
POPPY (bellows): Put it away, Ollie! Are you off your rocker?
No pardon's big enough if any harm comes to that horse!
EXT. WOODS - DAY
The meadow is divided from these woods by a stone wall. We can
SEE a wide opening in this wall somewhere in the b.g.
ANGLE ON DOUBLE-OH-SEVEN
Charging forward, Laura and Tony hanging on for dear life. Laura
is exhilarated, laughing, her hair blowing. Tony is grim, his
eyes widening as he sees what's ahead.
TONY: Oh, no. Not again!
LAURA: Hold on this time!
ANGLE ON STONE WALL
The motorcycles and limousine are closing fast as the horse approaches
the stone wall and leaps it!
INT. GOVERNMENT LIMOUSINE - DAY
Fawn and Poppy brace themselves, holding onto the back of the
front seat.
The driver spins the steering wheel.
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Double-oh-seven, Laura and Tony all land safely on the other
side of the wall. We HEAR brakes SQUEALING and the SOUND of METAL
CRUMPLING.
ON LAURA AND TONY
They turn and look behind them. Laura hauls on the reins.
EXT. STONE WALL - DAY
A scene of wreckage but not carnage. Both motorcycles have spun
out. Oliver and Posy pick themselves up and dust themselves off.
The limousine made the turn but skidded up and scraped against
the stone wall. Driver, Fawn and Poppy spill out the opposite
side, looking dazed.
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Laura pats and strokes Double-Oh-Seven's neck. Tony leans back,
supporting his hands on the horse's rump.
TONY: Mrs. Steele?
Laura turns her head.
TONY: It's all coming back to me now.
LAURA: Of course! A good clonk on the head . . .
TONY: It's a helluva disappointment.
LAURA: What is?
TONY: To remember that you're a happily married woman, and that
you and I are just good friends.
Laura smiles. Then she taps Double-Oh-Seven with her heels, and
they ride away from the wreckage behind them.
EXT. POLICE STATION - DAY
A taxi pulls away. The sports car sits in the parking lot. A
MAN and a WOMAN walk toward the sports car and get in.
The door to the police station opens, and Laura and Tony come
out, followed by McFarlane.
Poppy exits a moment later with two new MEN in black suits and
sunglasses.
POPPY: If I was still with the Company, your career would be
finished, Mr. Roselli.
TONY: I'm sorry, sir.
POPPY: It still might be - once I get a hold of Bill . . .
Poppy glares at them as the men in black hustle him gently and
soothingly away.
MCFARLANE: I appreciate your understanding of these national
security issues, Mrs. Steele.
LAURA: Of course.
MCFARLANE: Just a couple of good old boys and their hijinks -
no harm done. (beat)
LAURA: Double-Oh-Seven's all right?
MCFARLANE (smiles): None the worse for his little adventure.
He departs for an official-looking car.
LEO'S VOICE: Tony!
Laura and Tony turn to see Leo approaching from the parking lot
- accompanied by a man we last saw lying on the floor of the
pool hall - Clines!
LEO: Whoa! Looks like you've had quite a time.
Tony brushes at his clothes.
TONY: Just a day at the races.
LEO: You remember Clines, don't you?
Tony and Laura exchange a look.
TONY: Yeah. How ya doing?
CLINES: I didn't have a chance to give you this before the lights
went out.
He hands over a sheet of paper.
ON TONY
As he reads. His expression reflects a changing mix of emotions.
EXT. BROOKLYN HEIGHTS STREET - DAY
ESTABLISH a lovely street lined with old, beautifully kept brownstone
and brick buildings.
Laura's rental car pulls up and parks. Tony and Laura get out.
Tony consults the sheet of paper Clines gave him.
LAURA: Is that it?
TONY (distracted): Yeah.
LAURA: It's lovely.
TONY: Yeah.
He starts across the street - then realizes that Laura isn't
there. He turns to see that she is still standing by the car
- leaning against it - watching.
LAURA: Go on. You'll be fine.
Tony hesitates - then, with some trepidation, he goes up the
steps and rings the bell. Laura waits and watches.
ANGLE ON HOUSE
The front door opens on a tall woman - past middle-age but not
old - a well-dressed lady of the house.
This is MRS. ROSELLI - who looks at Tony - surprise then joy
pass over her face.
MRS. ROSELLI: Tony!
TONY: Ma!
He rushes into her arms.
OVER this reunion:
MR. ROSELLI'S VOICE: Who is it, Larraine?
Mr. Roselli - tall, his graying, thinning hair suggesting it
had once been dark and thick and curly - dressed in golf togs
- appears behind his wife.
He is somewhat taken aback as he regards Tony.
MR. ROSELLI: Well.
TONY (sheepish; nervous): Hi, Dad.
MR. ROSELLI: Taking a break from spying?
TONY: You mean serving my country, don't you, Dad?
MR. ROSELLI: That's what you call it.
MRS. ROSELLI (pained): John . . .
Tony puts his hands in his pockets and looks away. Then:
TONY: Actually, I've got a new job, now.
MRS. ROSELLI (takes advantage): Do you? What are you doing now,
Tony?
TONY (wry): Well - I'm not a lawyer.
Mr. Roselli reacts - it's clear that's what he wishes Tony was
- like himself?
Tony turns and:
LAURA'S POV
The little family group on the stoop of the brownstone. Tony
waves her forward.
TONY (cups hands and shouts): Laura!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Laura crosses the street.
TONY: I'm a private detective now. In L.A.
As Laura comes up the steps:
TONY (cont'd): This is my boss. Mrs. Steele. (beat) My parents.
Larraine and John Roselli.
Laura extends a hand to Mrs. Roselli.
LAURA: Very nice to meet you.
Restrained HUBBUB of "How do you do?" "Good to
see you." Etc.
Tony pulls the watch out of his pocket. "That's Amore"
starts to PLAY.
Mr. Roselli takes the watch out of Tony's hand.
MR. ROSELLI: Where did you get this?
TONY: Ma sent it to me.
MR. ROSELLI: How could your mother send you your grandfather's
watch when you haven't bothered to tell us where you are for
the last three years?
MRS. ROSELLI: You don't need a private detective to find someone
you really want to find, darling.
Mr. Roselli - jaw set - regards his wife. Then he glances away.
Then:
MR. ROSELLI (gruff): Well, we can't stand outside on the stoop
all day. Come in. Come on in, both of you.
He stands aside for his wife. Mrs. Roselli goes into the house
followed by Mr. Roselli.
Tony stands aside for Laura. Laura takes a step, then turns back.
LAURA: Home, Mr. Roselli?
Tony looks at her. A smile dawns slowly over his face.
TONY: Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.
He follows her into the house as we -
FREEZE FRAME
THE END
- BACK