- No Regrets
- Sinead O'Byrne <SteeleaScarecrow@hotmail.com>
OK, I'm really, really sorry about why this took so long,
but my comp has
NOT wanted to do ANYTHING. SO this is JUST getting out now! Enjoy!
And if
this is too late........it can be a normal fic!
I reached into the drawer that was stuck out from the dresser
and pulled out another shirt of mine, sticking almost haphazardly
into the suitcase. I was
just going through the motions, much like I had been for the
past few days,
ever since Acapulco. I looked at everything that went into my
suitcase, as
if scrutinizing it, but really, I didn't care what I took with
me.I quickly
finished off the dresser and moved onto the closet. I pulled
out most of my
suits, laid them in the suitcase, and looked at what was left.
All of her
clothes, as well as the two things that I was definatly going
to leave
behind. Those shirts with the crazy sayings that she had bought
me, to try
and get me to loosen up a bit. Those, and the white belts. I
slid into the
bathroom quietly, as if I didn't want anyone to know what I was
doing. It
didn't matter, there was no one home. I didn't like what I was
doing. Not at
all. But it had to be done. I looked at myself in the mirror,
and couldn't
help but notice how, well, worn I looked. My normally pale skin
was whiter
than usual, and gaunt, with a day's worth of stubble across my
chin. My
baby-blue eyes stood out vividly against the red from three days
without
sleep. Ever since Acapulco, things had been so different. I had
seen what I
had never seen before. It was like a blindfold had lifted off
my eyes. I saw
myself as who I was, and I saw her as who she was, and I saw
that we were
different. Complete opposites. We had both changed slightly,
but not enough
for things to really work. She loved me so much, she was still
blind to how
things had slowly been deteriorating between us.
I loved her, and I knew it, but not enough to risk my job. I
worked hard to
get to Jr. VP, and I wasn't going to give it up for a relationship
that
wasn't working anyway. I reached into my pocket and felt the
smoothness of a
velvet box. I knew what it was, and what it had been for, but
everything
had changed. I had given serious thought to marrying her, but
then Acapulco
happened. It was then I knew that while I loved her wild, unbrideled
passion
and beauty, it wasn't for me. I needed someone who could be boring,
the
typical wife who played bridge every Tuesday, have dinner ready
when I
walked in the door, and be there no matter what. I needed someone
like her
mother or sister. Laura was just crazy, and while she was beautiful
when she
was crazy, it was too much for me. We were just so different.
I preffered my
drinks at home, not from some nightclub that you could hear halfway
across
town. I pulled the box out, opened it, before flicking it closed
and tossing
it into the trash. Then I thought better, and walked outside,
and buried in
the actual garbage can, where she would never find it. As I grabbed
my
suitcase, one photo on the nightstand caught my eye.
It was back when we were the world's happiest couple, right after
we had
moved in together. There I was smiling, with Laura hanging off
me,
piggy-back style. She had one hand thrown across my neck, the
other tangled
in my blonde hair. I was wearing one of the shirts that she had
bought for
me, the one that said 'Bankers do it with intrest' and, surprisingly
for me,
a pair of jeans. I knew I'd miss her, but I had to close this
chapter in my
life. I couldn't put up with it anymore. We fought so much, over
petty
things. And now, after all that had happened in Acapulco, it
was finally
time to put all of it behind me. I was reluctant to just let
three years of
my life go to waste, but it was what I felt was the right choice.
After the
fandance, I knew that she would just get crazier and crazier.
She said
everyone was too drunk to remeber it, and I knew she was probably
right, but
I didn't want to risk anything. I knew that it was just me being
a chicken,
but I didn't care. I knew I was the dorky banker who never drank
and hated
anything that had come out after 1970.
And then there was the matter of jobs. Laura wanted to be another
Miss
Marple. The stunning, cunning, PI that could put Phillip Marlowe
to shame.
But she had her friend Murphy to fall back on. The fact that
she had a
shoulder to cry on made me feel a little better. She could do
better off
without me. I was holding her back, trying to force her to change.
And she'd
move on. But Laura had always had a habit of holding things for
longer than
normal. But she'd get over me. Eventually. I'd find someone else,
and so
would she.
I closed the latch on the suitcase and looked around the bedroom
one last
time. I grabbed the handles and walked out, looking back at the
house one
last time. As I walked out, I contemplated leaving a note, but
then thought
better of it. I caught a passing cab and got in. I gave him the
address of a
local motel, and relaxed, giving Laura, our relationship, the
house, and
the past three years of my life one final glance before trying
to forget
them forever.
____________________________________________________
OK-that was Wilson, if you don't know..........and hope you enjoyed!
Sinead
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