Steele Itching
Date: Saturday, December 30, 2006
"smh643311" <>

My very first fanfic.
Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Permission to archive

"Steele Itching" - a continuation of "Santa Claus is Coming to

Original parts of the show are between the double stars.

Remington's bedroom the morning after Wally and Dancer are arrested.

**"Wally's files" Laura stated as she approached Remington's
bedside. "He was in a mental institution for those eight months after
he hacked up his mother."

"Oh" replied Remington as Mildred removed the thermometer from
Remington's mouth.

"We certainly had our share of sickos this trip," commented Mildred
as she looked at the results on the thermometer and then shook the
thermometer down.

"The scary part is that they came right to our doorstep." Laura said
glancing through Wally's file.

"Yes, nothing like bringing one's work home, eh?" Remington
interjected as he was glancing through one of many books beside him
on the bed.

"Afraid you're gonna have to stay in bed at least one more day
Chief." Mildred said motheringly to Remington. Remington groaned at
that thought as Mildred continued "And I'm gonna be here…to see that
you don't cheat."

"Oh." replies Remington looking less than enthused.

Laura hands Remington Wally's files and Remington says while flipping
through the information "You know, Laura we've been so busy lately
exploring and defining our personal relationship that we've taken the
professional side for granted. It's not until something like this
comes along to force one to reevaluate."

"What exactly are we reevaluating?" Laura interjects.

Remington crosses his arms across his chest and responds, "Do you
intend to pursue this line of work for the rest of your life?"

Laura looks towards the ceiling and answers "I haven't really given
it much thought."

With a slight smirk on his face Remington states, "I mean supposing
you had children. Would you intend to continue working? Or would you
feed the little tykes breakfast in the morning…and then rush off to a
nice juicy murder? Would you call them up at school and apologize
because you couldn't pick them up because you were being held

"Are you saying a woman's place is in the home?" Laura questions

"Actually, I was thinking of a more specific area." Remington smiles
as places his arms around Laura and glances downward next to himself
on the bed.

"Hmm?" Laura giggles.**

Then Laura leaned closer to kiss Remington. Were they finally going
to have that discussion she so desperately long for? A chance to
discuss their feelings and hopes and dreams for the future. Laura
had him right where she wanted him… broken leg … confined to his
bed. He was not going to get away from her *this* time. He was most
definitely unable to run away.

Just as her lips reached Remington's, Mildred popped into the room.

"Chief, I brought you your pill and some juice along with some tea
for you and Miss Holt." Mildred proudly announced. Then she looked
up from the tray she was carrying and saw the two detectives in quite
the embrace.

"Oh, I'm sorry I'll just leave this here on the table." A bright red
Mildred said as she placed the tray down on the table turned to exit
the bedroom. Mildred could kick herself - somehow she had just the
knack of interrupting those two.

Nervously, Laura removed herself from Remington's arms got up and
walked toward the table and replied. "Why thanks Mildred, some tea
would be wonderful right about now."

Softly Mildred apologized, "Sorry Miss Holt. I did not mean to
interrupt you and the Boss, you know…."

"Now Mildred, there is nothing to be sorry about." Laura stated as
she put her arm around Mildred's shoulder. "But what I do need is
for you to go back to the office and man the phones. I'm sure there
will be all sorts of reporters wanting to get the story straight from
the horse's mouth. They'll have questions both about Wally and
Dancer. I'll need you to fill them in and assure the public that the
great Remington Steele will be back on his feet in just a few days."

"Oh, no need of that Miss Holt, since I knew the Boss was going to be
laid up here a few days and would need *me* to take care of him, I
had the phone company forward all the calls here to the his home
phone." Mildred proudly stated.

"Why Mildred, that was just splendid thinking." Remington
interjected as he grimaced from both the pain as he tried to adjust
himself and the pillows on the bed and while also thinking about
being mothered to death by Mildred. He tried to turn it into a
compliment on Mildred's efficiency when what he really wanted to do
is toss her out of his apartment. Remington looked up at Mildred and
gave her his classic crooked smile.

Just then the phone rang and Mildred quickly trotted out to the
living room to answer it.

"The height of efficiency our Ms. Krebs, eh" Remington said to

"Yes, sometimes a little *too* efficient for her own good Mr.
Steele," Laura replied as she brought over to the bed Remington's
glass of orange juice and his pain pill. "But, I know just how to
solve this little dilemma." Laura continued as she handed Remington
his juice and pill then turned to leave. "Take your pill before
Nurse Ratchet comes back." Laura said as she started to walk out of
the room.

Remington made a face and promptly did as ordered.

Mildred returned to the bedroom nearly bumping into the retreating
Laura and proudly announced "Call forwarding works wonders. That was
the LA Times. I told the reporter that Mr. Steele suffered only a
broken leg and would be back in the office on next Wednesday after we
testified at Dancer's trial on Tuesday."

"Great work Mildred" Laura commented as she took Mildred this time by
the arm and led her out of the bedroom and into the living
room. "Now, I really need you to go the office. What if reporters
are coming by?" We can't leave the office unmanned. How would that

"Oh…, you're right Miss Holt! Oh… Oh…. I'm so sorry, I never thought
about that. I'll get back to the office right away. Do you think
you can take care of the Boss? Do you think you can make sure he
stays put? You know he really needs to be in bed another day."
Mildred replied as the two women walked behind the couch and Mildred
picked up her purse from the table.

"Don't worry Mildred." Laura spoke as she led Mildred out the front
door of the apartment. "I'll make sure our Mr. Steele stays in bed
and I'll be sure to call you if I need anything else."

Laura returned to Remington's bedroom. Remington had been fidgeting
as the itchies from his cast were getting the best of him. Because
of all his fidgeting he managed to knock the pillows from under his
leg. Laura stooped at the side of the bed to retrieve the pillows
and while placing the pillows under his injured leg stated "Well now
that I have made sure Mildred is occupied for a few hours, where were
we?" Laura questioned as she sat down on the bed next to Remington
and gently placed her arms around his neck.

Remington reached around her to pull her closer in an embrace their
lips approaching together when the phone rang. "Oops, forgot about
the call damn forwarding." Laura said as she tried to leave.

"Just let in ring" Remington whispered and pulled Laura closer for a
deep and passionate kiss. Remington broke apart their lips slightly
and whispered "You know I was worried sick about you while I was
stuck here with Dancer and this bloody broken leg. I was afraid that
your secret admirer would do something rash. I do not know what I
would do if anything ever happened to you." He pulled Laura in for
another kiss and gently stroked her hair.

"When Wally confessed that he was the one to rig the elevator, I just
wanted to ring his neck. You know, he was really upset that all you
suffered …" Laura's sentence was interrupted by another kiss. "…was
a broken leg. He wanted you dead." Laura brushed the tuft of hair
from Remington's forehead and looked deep into his blue eyes. "I
never thanked you for calling the police and getting them to my
building. Wally had the agency gun and a crazed look about him. I'm
not sure what would have happened if the sirens did not distract his
attention." Laura leaned in again for another kiss.

"There, there, Miss Holt" Remington said "Who needs a secret admirer
when you have a knight is shining armor, eh?" They kissed
passionately. "Well Miss Holt, about that question…"

"…ummmm, Mr. Steele" Laura pulled herself away from his lips and
looked deep into his blue eye and breathlessly responded "…What was
the question?"

"Children, Miss Holt" pulling her closer towards him once
again. "What do you think about children?"

"Ah, children," kissing once again "….they are very nice, but first
of all I plan on being married before having any children.. Any
children I have will grow up with both a loving mother and a loving

"Ummm," Remington said as the two detectives locked themselves is a
deep and passionate kiss once again, then breaking slightly
apart "That could be…ah ah ah …. Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!…" Remington
bounced about the bed, the books and magazines that were next to him
fell to the floor with a thump and he nearly tossed Laura to the
floor as well as a result of the latest itching fit.

"Let me get something for that" Laura stated and quickly left the
room and went towards the kitchen.

""Laura….Laura… Where did you go?" Remington shouted from his bed.

"Just looking for a ruler, Mr. Steele." Laura shouted back. She had
remembered how effective a ruler could be when dealing with
the "itchies".

"What are you going to do with a bloody ruler…Rap my knuckles."
Remington shouts back.

"No… No….Found it." She shouted back. "When I was twelve, I fell
out off my bike." Laura spoke loudly as she approached the bedroom
with the ruler. "I broke my right arm and had to be in a cast for
eight weeks, so I know the itching your going through can really be
hell. Well mother never knew, because if she did she would have
probably broken my other arm, but I used ruler to go between the
cast and my arm and scratch the "itchies."" Laura finished just as
she entered the bedroom. "Works like a charm."

She glanced toward Remington lying on the bed. Laura chuckled and
said softly "My knight in shining armor" as she approached the
handsome detective. He had dozed off to sleep. She gentle brushed
the fallen tuft of hair from his forehead and leaned over to kiss him
on the cheek and quietly said "Mr. Steele, I too do not know
whatever I would do without you. Ah… children… someday Mr. Steele,

Remington heard every word she said, he smiled inwardly and kept the
fact that he heard every word she said a secret as he drifted off to
sleep thinking "Sooner than you think Miss Holt, sooner than you

The End