Stronger Than Steele (unedited)
(Oh my God, talk about life imitating art. Or is it art imitating life?)
"Miss Holt, Mr. Steele I can't thank you enough for what you've done." Max Donahue hugged Laura then shared once again the Atomic Man gesture of touching fingers and thumb and pushing them together. Remington extended his hand, "Forgive me Mr. Donahue, this is the only one I know." The two men shook hands in the traditional manner.
"I'll walk you out," Mildred offered.
Remington walked over to the sofa and slipped off his shoes. Leaning back with his feet up, he asked, "Laura how did you know about syndicated reruns being edited to allow for more commercials?"
She hopped off the desk and joined him on the couch. "I watched Atomic Man religiously as a kid, I instantly recognized that they cut out lots of scenes. Tuesday night's episode, for example, they omitted the entire scene about the proton phaser. When Atomic Man couldn't use his nucleic charger, it just didn't make any sense. How could they do that? Don't those editors understand what an important plot point that was?"
Remington looked at her like HER proton phaser and nucleic charger were on the blink. "I don't mean to belittle such a television work of genius as Atomic Man, but it is a business. If they couldn't turn a profit, they wouldn't air it at all."
"But what they are doing to quality for the sake of revenue is blatantly criminal. I mean, how dare they cut that scene two nights ago when Atomic Man saved the injured dog. It spoke volumes about his character, his humaness. It was that compassion and heroism, that touched my heart and made me fall in love with the show in the first place."
Remington put his arm around Laura, seeing that she was obviously upset. Pretending to comfort her for his own selfish reasons. "Oh there, there, Laura. It's only a TV show."
"But how would you feel if we were a television show? Imagine that our lives were in the hands of some clueless editor who cut out parts willy-nilly. An editor who thought our personal relationship was superfluous. Imagine every significant conversation, every touch, every kiss, every personal interaction snipped and left to die on the editing room floor. Wouldn't that bug you just a little bit?"
"I think an editor has already been through our life. Remember last night when I snuggled up to you on my sofa and offered you my company? There was a whole scene cruelly removed. In my copy, you said something to the effect of I'd love your company, Mr. Steele. Then you turned off the remote, flung it across the room, along with your clothing, and ravished me." Remington playfully wiggled his eyebrows, "Yes, it was rather a shame that no one got to see that."
Laura gave him a will-he-ever-give-up look.
He turned and placed his other arm around her waist, "You should see my original, uncut, collection of The Remington Steele Show. Its quite revealing what the viewing public has been missing all this time."
"Mr. Steele, it sounds like portions would have been edited for graphic sexual content reasons rather that time restrictions."
"I could offer you a private screening, or better yet, we could just reenact the all missing scenes." He leaned into her and began to kiss the side of her neck just below the ear.
She tried her best to maintain a conversation despite his warm breath and roaming lips, "Do any of these missing scenes take place on this sofa in your office?"
He breathed seductively, "Oh....absolutely, Miss Holt." This time his lips zeroed in on hers. They shared a lingering kiss. They briefly parted and just before they touched again, he added, "Several scenes in fact."
FADE TO BLACK