Steele a Long Way to Go 1/?
Date: Monday, May 01, 2000
Sue Hantak <hantaks@mtco.com>
STEELE A LONG WAY TO GO
Part 1
"I've been looking all over for you"
"Well, it appears you've found me, now what do you want? He barely glanced in her direction.
"Nothing, I just didn't know where you were…Is there something I can help you with?" She reached for Daniel's wallet that lay on top of the armoire. Remington quickly snatched it out of her hands.
His grief for Daniel and his love for Laura were emotions that were foreign to him. He couldn't deal with them all at once. Anger was the one emotion he knew. He hid his true feelings behind it.
"Laura, just please get out, this is none of your business."
She was taken back by his brusque attitude. "Sorry...you're right...I'll just leave you alone."
Remington reasoned that if it hurt this much to lose Daniel, someone who would best be described as a close friend, he didn't want to even imagine what it would be like to build a life with Laura only to have her taken away too. He wondered if it really was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
When he didn't come out for a long time, Laura tried again. This time she gently knocked on the door before going in. "Hi...ummmm...I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat?"
"No thanks, you go without me"
"I was hoping...Laura began trying to cajole him but he quickly interrupted her.
"For God's sake, Laura, I know you're not that dense, can't you just leave me alone?"
"Sometimes it helps to talk about it," Laura offered.
"I don't need your help." Remington grabbed the backside knob of the door to usher her out. Once she was in the hall, he shut the door.
Laura told herself, he would come around. He wasn't shutting her out to intentionally hurt her. Her insecurities did emerge though when she considered that maybe it was over between them. They did take that important step in their relationship, but somehow were no closer. Neither of them made any grand declarations of undying love for each other. They went through the motions. Pleasurable, physically satisfying motions, to be sure, but not emotionally satisfying. Laura concluded that he got what he wanted and was pushing her away. Her fragile ego couldn't take this any longer. If he wanted her, he knew where to find her. She made arrangements to return to LA.
He stood gazing out the castle window into the fog. He barely heard Laura come in to the master bedroom. "I'm sorry I didn't know you were in here...Mickelene is fixing up another room for me, I just need my things" She stood for a still for a moment hoping he would stop her and plead her to stay and share the room again. He continued to stare out the window. She walked up to stand behind him. She reached to touch his shoulder, but suddenly felt very awkward near him. She wondered how they could be so intimate just last night and so distant such a short time later. She cautiously tapped him, "I know you're probably going to tell me to go to hell, but I would like to ask you something."
He turned to face her with his arms crossed. "What is it?"
"Please, and I swear this is the last favor I'll ever ask...Please just tell me that last night wasn't just sex...I need to know..." He remained stoic as she pleaded, "Lie if you have to...I need to hear you say that you loved me..."
"Everything isn't about you, Laura." Remington coldly replied as he turned his back to her.
Laura quickly grabbed what she could and left the room. He turned to see the door gently bump the jamb.
She spent the night composing a letter to him:
"Dear Mr. Steele,
I have an overwhelming compulsion to apologize to you. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do, but whatever it is, I am sorry. Maybe I expected and demanded too much from you. I know I don't measure up to the women that have shared your bed. I can see more clearly now that my head is out of the sand.
I was foolish to think you loved me and that what we had would last. At least the mystery of 'what comes after' has been solved.
You know who you are now. You don't have to be Remington Steele anymore. It's pretty obvious to me that you don't WANT to be Remington Steele either. I guess he'll go back to working best in an advisory capacity. I do love you and I will miss you. I wish you all the best as 'Harry Chalmers"."