Steele Single- 1/1
Date: Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Steele Single

by queenheadintheclouds aka steelequeen aka SteeleFan

*This fanfiction takes place within the first season of the show. I
made sure that anything that happens with in doesn't affect the
established show timeline. I don't own these characters or the show.*

It was another Friday in the offices of Remington Steele
Investigations. Bernice was using Laura's desk and a small lit
vanity mirror to fix her makeup while talking to Laura about her
plans for the weekend.

"I don't want to meet Mr. Right in a bar. Especially not downstairs."
Laura said to her.

"Why not? Do you have any big plans this weekend? Or any plans at
all?" Bernice challenged.

"I'm planning on doing some laundry. Catching up on balancing my
checkbook. Ordering a pizza in." Laura replied.

"Waiting for Mr. Steele to make a move?" Bernice asked.

"No. Not waiting for Mr. Steele to make a move. Business and
pleasure, Bernice. Must be kept separate." She relayed.

"I'm not Murphy, Laura." Bernice chuckled. "So don't give me the
company line. If Mr. Steele asked, you'd go."

"I'd consider going." Laura corrected.

"You need to get back on the horse. Ever since Wilson you've been
moping around. Its time to move on. If not with our Mr. Steele then
with someone." She told her. "The man wore white belts. He's not
worth living like a nun."

"And you suggest the bars and restaurants downstairs as a key
poaching ground? That's not my style." Laura waved off.

"So how about this?" Bernice took a piece of paper out of her purse
and handed it over.

Laura studied the page before looking up.

"Taking out a personal ad?" She questioned.

"I like to think of it as placing an order. Single white female
looking for single male. Thirties to forties. Over six foot.
Artistic." Bernice demonstrated. "Easy as pie. And then you see what
comes in and pick."

"Have you had any luck? You're still going downstairs." She wondered.

"In fact I'm going to meet bachelor number one." Bernice smiled. "Try
it. If you don't like it then you don't have to continue. What does
it hurt? You read their letter, meet them in a public place. It's the
80s, this is how its done."

"Progress. What next? Dating over the computer?" Laura managed a

Later in the evening, Laura is still at her desk and working on her
ad, reading back aloud as she fills it in.

"Ah, Ms. Holt." Remington waltzes in and Laura, embarrassed, scurries
the paper under a folder.

"Just catching up on some old cases." She covers.

"The Shining. Jack Nicholson. Shelly Duvall. Warner Brothers. 1980.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." He smiles at her.

"Thank you. This isn't the Overlook Hotel and I'm not a blocked
writer." Laura returns. "In fact I'm just about finished."

"I'll walk you out. I'm leaving myself." He replied.

"Let me just get my coat."

Laura leaves and Remington moves the folder to see what Laura had
hidden. He had heard her for about an hour now working out something.
By the sounds of it, an advertisement of some sort.

He wanted to read it but debated within himself whether he should. He
was a detective now, or at least playing one. Whatever it was could
be important to him and thus the agency.

He was about to move the file when she returned.

"All ready?" He asked.

"Just need this." She takes the ad and shoves it into the folder and
puts it into her tote bag.

When they part downstairs, Remington wonders if perhaps he's being
replaced. The ad did sound like him. Perhaps Miss Wolf and Murphy
were getting their way with ousting him. And in return Laura was
placing a want ad to find a reasonable lookalike to hire instead.

Meanwhile, Laura arrived at home and fed Nero. She ordered her pizza,
and while waiting for it to be delivered, took the folder out of her
bag and with it the ad.

She stared at it for a while and debated what to do with it.

Remington spent the weekend wondering how he could change their minds
and stay on in this current situation. It was too plush not to keep
it up. Penthouse, excitement, and Laura. The thought of losing it
sent him into a panic. It was the best position he'd landed himself
in for a long time. But maybe he'd grown too comfortable. Gotten too
lax in assuming they'd never get rid of him.

Monday Morning
Remington Steele Investigations Offices

Bernice and Laura are talking outside at Bernice's desk over coffee.
Murphy is locked in his office and Remington has yet to arrive.

"How did your date go?" Laura asked.

"I think it went well. But who knows? He's a sax player from New York
originally. Hates the West Coast. I don't do long distance
relationships." Bernice sighed. "Still, I've got nothing better
coming down the pike at the moment so I'll give it a shot. He was a
decent guy. Nice looking. Not our Mr. Steele but he gets my name

"I was working on the ad when our Mr. Steele was still hovering
Friday night." Laura confessed. "Made it difficult to fill out what
I'd consider an unbiased want ad."

She handed her ad over to Bernice.

"Single white female looking for single white male. Early 30s. Dark
hair, light eyes. Foreign accent a plus. Must love old movies and
have never owned a white belt." Bernice smirked as she read
aloud. "You forgot to add height, weight, and fondness for lateness."

"He might have seen it." Laura bit her nail. "He offered to walk me
down as he was leaving. I went to get my coat."

"So?" Bernice wondered.

"So, should I bother to even place it?" Laura asked her. "If he saw
it surely it will only go to his head."

"Even if you don't place it, it'll go to his head." Bernice pointed
out. "And that's even assuming he cared what you were writing.
Chances are he figured it was a report or legwork and you know his
aversion to that."

"Very true. That's probably what it was. He probably gave nary a
look." Laura decided taking a deep breath. "Place it for me."

"You got yourself a deal." Bernice smiled. "In fact I was just going
over there now to renew mine."

Laura watched as Bernice put on her coat and left with the ad. It was
too late to stop her and change her mind.
As Bernice left, Remington walked in.

"Morning, Laura Had a nice weekend?" He smiled, proud of himself for
getting in earlier than his normal ten am.

Laura tried to decipher his smile but there was nothing telling in it.

"Fine. Got finished with that report I started on Friday." She
replied. "You?"

"Lovely. Lovely. Am I needed for anything today? Any store openings?
Any wildlife meetings?" He asked trying to appear helpful and open to
keeping his job.

"I'll let you know. We're in one of our lulls. Happens every now and
again when humanity decides to go on vacation." She explained.

"Like death takes a holiday?" He quipped.

"On the same concept." She took another sip of her coffee. "Well I
have more filing to do."

She hurried into her office and closed the door behind her. Without
Murphy or Bernice there to chaperone, Laura was always afraid she'd
do something impulsive. Something that could never be returned from.
And most importantly something that would in no doubt ruin the agency
she'd given everything to build up.

Still when he looked at her like that she wondered if Bernice was
right. If one eye rolling good time was worth whatever the
aftereffects were.

She just wasn't willing to take that step. And maybe whomever
answered her ad would take some of the heat away from fishing off the
company pier so to speak.


Bernice comes into the office with her mail and Laura's.

"Looks like you got a response." She waves the envelope in front of
Laura's face.

"I did?" Laura examines it and cautiously opens it up.

She reads what's written and can't help but smile.

"Well? What does it say?" Bernice takes the letter from her. "Saw
your ad. Sounds intriguing. Meet me at L'Ornate, Friday at 8."

"Morning " Remington announces his presence.

Laura and Bernice both look at the clock.
"Insomnia?" Bernice asks. "Usually you don't appear before 11."

"Now, Ms. Wol..Fox, I've realized that's no way for a figurehead to
act. I must be diligent and give the apperance of a professional." He
corrected mostly for Laura's sake.

"Always a good change to make." Laura replied and shrugged to Bernice.

"Any new cases? Any prospective clients coming in?" He inquired.

"Still the same lull." Laura answered.

Remington looked worried but flashed her a smile and decided to lower
himself to offer to do office busy work.

"If you need more filing to be done, I could help. These cases
fascinate me." He said nonchalantly.

"I think we're fine. But I'll let you know." Laura replied as he went
into his office.

"That was weird." Bernice commented. "Skeezits offering to do office
work? There must be some angle he's trying to work."

"Maybe he's trying the book idea again." Laura supposed. "Or to top
himself in the press."

In his office, Remington is still worried about the slowdown in
business. He still hasn't gotten any more information about his
replacement and there didn't seem to be any prospective job
applicants arriving for interviews. Which only meant that there
wasn't anybody yet that felt they fit the requirements.

He'd been so out of sorts lately that he'd taken to reading the want
ads. Seeing what else was out there in terms of normal day to day
employment. It took time to set up a con or a heist and sometimes one
had to take a boring job in a pinch to make ends meet.

About a week ago he'd found the personals and an intriguing ad. He
replied to it and figured that maybe some good would come from all
his reading. The ad specifically mentioned someone who liked movies
and he certainly fit that bill. The deal with the white belts was odd
but certainly not the oddest thing mentioned in those ads. It was one
of the more normal wants from a woman. Besides white belts were

His blind date was for Friday at 8. If for some reason a case came up
before then, he'd have to put work first. Something he'd never
considered doing until this point where he believed his position was
in jeopardy.

But Friday came and there was still nothing so he considered himself
in the clear. Laura was already getting suspicious of his offers
around the office and he didn't want her thinking more of it when he
offered to change existing plans for legwork.


He arrived at L'Ornate and spotted Laura sitting at a table by
herself. He decided to do the manly thing and greet her even if she
was meeting his replacement here. Why not wine and dine him into
taking the job? He'd have some pretty big shoes to fill if he had to
say so himself.

"Mr. Steele What are you doing here?" She greeted in surprise.

"I have a date with a lovely lady. Unfortunately I don't know her
name. Or what she looks like." He made a show of looking around the
restaurant. "But I saw you sitting here and figured I'd say hello
before I found her."

"A blind date? You?" She questioned carefully.

"I was reading the paper the other day and came across the personals.
They're oddly amusing at times. Hundreds of people putting their
romantic fates in print ads." He smiled. "I happened to find one that
I felt compelled to answer."

"Really?" She took a gulp of water, nervously.. "Never figured you
for the type."

"The ad was compelling. And quirky at the same time." He
explained. "So what are you doing here?"

"Meeting a date. He seems to be running behind schedule though." She
checked her watch again.

Laura was on a date? So it wasn't a job interview. He let out a
breath of relief.

"I don't seem to see my date either. Eveyone here already seems to be
coupled up." He did another look around.

"So what did her ad say?" Laura inquired motioning for him to join
her in the empty seat.

"Something about liking movies." He merely replied. "And white belts
which I thought odd."

The realization hit Laura and she coughed.

"Here have some water." He handed her his glass.

"Sorry, something got caught." She apologized.

As she sipped she wondered if she should reveal that she was his
date. If it surprised her it certainly would surprise him. It was
just embarrasing if she was supposed to be his boss and they were on
a date.

He just looked so good and sad at the same time that she decided she
had to say something..

"Mr. Steele, your date didn't stand you up. And I have a feeling mine
didn't either." Laura concluded.
"What do you mean, Laura?" He asked.

"I think it was my ad you answered." She confessed.

"Your ad? You placed a personal ad?" He questioned. "In the paper?
You were working on it last week?"

"You knew? "

Remington laughed. "I thought it was a want ad for the employment
area. Someone to replace me."

"So that's why you were coming in early and offereing to do all those
things." Laura chuckled. "Bernice and Murphy figured you had some con
you were planning. I figured you were attempting a book again."

"Sorry to disappoint." He replied slightly hurt.

"No, this is good. Surprising but good. Rarely do people surprise me
in a good way." Laura reached over and placed her hand over his. "Of
course this does make my not mixing business and pleasure business a
bit hypocritical."

"Lets not worry about that tonight." He assurred her. "We can be
anyone we want to be. We don't have to be Remington Steele and Laura

"But it was my Remington Steele that I did want apparently. Right
there in print." She smiled. "So we might have to relax those rules a

The End?

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